Do The Math

27 05 2011

Harold Camping promised I would not need to write a blog this week, or any week hereafter. I never spoke with Harold directly, but he assured me (and his followers) that the world would end on May 21st, 2011. He painstakingly mapped out the timing for the end of the world using the calendar (admittedly the calendar used by Noah and the Gregorians – not the Julian Calendar which the rest of the world sans Aztecs use). His math skills are a little suspect – if you pick seemingly random numbers to make your point, you can probably prove or disprove anything. For instance:

Mr. Camping’s solution is to simply take the Holy Numbers (more about these later) 5, 10, and 17. Multiply each of these numbers consecutively times themselves twice and you will find the number 722,500. The estimated date of the crucifiction according to Camping is April 1, AD33 (April Fools Day?) If you add 722,500 days to the crucifiction date, you come to May 21, 2011 – Voila – the end of the world! The math checks out – how he came up with 6:00 PM is conjecture – none of the disciples had functioning watches, therefore the bible is relatively mum on exact times. But we are not finished with numbers yet.

Roughly 2% of the earth’s population is scheduled to be “raptured” into heaven – the remaining 98% will remain for “tribulation”, a five month conciliation period during which God will accept no excuses and everybody goes to hell in a handbasket literally and figuratively. According to Mr. Camping, God is waiving the rules and will no longer sit in judgment for 5 months, but will instead clean up the whole mess on October 21, 2011. I am siding with God on this one – let’s just get it over with.

On May 21, 1988, God finished using the Churches and Congregations of the world (again according to Camping). He says the bible also dictates that the great tribulation will occur exactly 23 years after this bold move by God – precisely May 21, 2011. Would this brilliant use of mathematics have fared well in the 5th grade? I think not – it is just too simple.

Finally, here is where the Holy Numbers were found. According to Noah’s calendar, the flood started on May – hence the magic number 5. It also occured on the 17th of the month – hence the second magic number. We must assume that the number 10 is a holy number because there is not an explanation for it’s existence in the formula. Much of this formula is an assumption – the numbers really don’t matter – insert your own – create your formula for determining the end of the world. Then please call me so I will know when I need to post my next blog – I hate scheduling things to be published after earths’ expiration date has passed.


Actions

Information

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: