Blacks Abducted By Aliens?

I recently came across an article (fairly suspicious content advisory) regarding the fact that UFOs/aliens never abduct black people (Google the subject – there is more goofy information out there than you would imagine), but the focus of the article was on the lack of black abductions. You can imagine the responses from the various people the interviewers chose to comment on this phenomenon. The responses mostly sounded like they were taken from the cast of The Dukes of Hazzard in character.

The main focus was that aliens are racist. I contacted two black friends who have been planning events and meetings (corporate and association) for years, and although they both felt that they may have experienced anal probes, they were certain their clients were the perpetrators, not aliens. Such is the world and life of Event Professionals whatever race or color. So how aliens could become racist is way beyond my comprehension. My only possible conclusions follow:

Thousands of years ago the first alien colonies stopped around where Africa is now located, picked up a few specimens, and found them offensive. This seems illogical because aliens now seem to pick up rednecks in rural areas and I can think of few things more annoying than those people.

Perhaps the group monitoring our planet tracked Malcolm X and the X Files in the same decade, and concluded that shows using the letter “X” were meant to be watched as “secret code” and that blacks were “on to them” and decided to leave them alone in case they accidentally picked up a spy.

Following the same logic, maybe they watched episodes of the Cosby Show, the Jeffersons, and any of the early Tyler Perry movies and decided they did not want any of these characters on board their mobile homes.

Maybe aliens just don’t care for dark meat – most Americans prefer white meat. There is no evidence that aliens eat their specimens, although one would think the anal probes would put them off their diets a little bit.

At any rate, it is about time blacks got a break from something – check out this video from The Onion to see how difficult it might be to be black in America. Just when they start making progress in America, along come the hispanics and become more highly populated than the black community, thus receiving more government agencies, money, etc.

Aliens should have every right that we all have to our opinions about race, color, or creed – but they should at least have the courtesy to voice their reasoning about such decisions. After all, white people seem to have come up with thousands of reasons to not like other people based on what they look like – aliens should be given the same privileges that we white folks have.

And yes, if you are reading my blog for the first time (or have no idea who I am), I am just kidding (but the stories are real – this information is out there – and as we all know, if it is in print, it is true).

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