Blacks Abducted By Aliens?

27 04 2011

I recently came across an article (fairly suspicious content advisory) regarding the fact that UFOs/aliens never abduct black people (Google the subject – there is more goofy information out there than you would imagine), but the focus of the article was on the lack of black abductions. You can imagine the responses from the various people the interviewers chose to comment on this phenomenon. The responses mostly sounded like they were taken from the cast of The Dukes of Hazzard in character.

The main focus was that aliens are racist. I contacted two black friends who have been planning events and meetings (corporate and association) for years, and although they both felt that they may have experienced anal probes, they were certain their clients were the perpetrators, not aliens. Such is the world and life of Event Professionals whatever race or color. So how aliens could become racist is way beyond my comprehension. My only possible conclusions follow:

Thousands of years ago the first alien colonies stopped around where Africa is now located, picked up a few specimens, and found them offensive. This seems illogical because aliens now seem to pick up rednecks in rural areas and I can think of few things more annoying than those people.

Perhaps the group monitoring our planet tracked Malcolm X and the X Files in the same decade, and concluded that shows using the letter “X” were meant to be watched as “secret code” and that blacks were “on to them” and decided to leave them alone in case they accidentally picked up a spy.

Following the same logic, maybe they watched episodes of the Cosby Show, the Jeffersons, and any of the early Tyler Perry movies and decided they did not want any of these characters on board their mobile homes.

Maybe aliens just don’t care for dark meat – most Americans prefer white meat. There is no evidence that aliens eat their specimens, although one would think the anal probes would put them off their diets a little bit.

At any rate, it is about time blacks got a break from something – check out this video from The Onion to see how difficult it might be to be black in America. Just when they start making progress in America, along come the hispanics and become more highly populated than the black community, thus receiving more government agencies, money, etc.

Aliens should have every right that we all have to our opinions about race, color, or creed – but they should at least have the courtesy to voice their reasoning about such decisions. After all, white people seem to have come up with thousands of reasons to not like other people based on what they look like – aliens should be given the same privileges that we white folks have.

And yes, if you are reading my blog for the first time (or have no idea who I am), I am just kidding (but the stories are real – this information is out there – and as we all know, if it is in print, it is true).


Goat Cheese with Chipotle and Roasted Red Pepper

21 04 2011

I know – another food article on this blog. Sorry – it is the lazy way to write something, but you will be glad you tried this. It is easy to prepare, light, refreshing and feels like Summer is just around the corner.

Warning: there will be another food recipe coming your way in June when the Raspberries are peaking. It can be used for multiple recipes and you will love it! For now, here is a recipe for the growing warmth of May. Event Planners and Professionals love the warmer seasons – please enjoy with us!

1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 11-ounce log soft fresh goat cheese
1 cup drained roasted red pepper strips from jar
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons chipotle hot sauce
1 small garlic clove, pressed
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
2 tablespoons toasted salted pumpkin seeds (pepitas), toasted
Baguette slices or crackers

To Prepare:
Toast cumin seeds in small skillet over medium heat until fragrant, stirring often, about 2 minutes. Cool.
Place goat cheese log on platter. Cover with sheet of plastic wrap. Press into large rectangle approximately 8 by 3 inches. Sprinkle with cumin, salt, and freshly ground black pepper. Mix roasted red peppers, olive oil, hot sauce, garlic, pumpkin seeds, and chopped cilantro in small bowl. Pipe mixture on crostini or your favorite hearty crackers. Makes between 40-50 pieces.

Campaign Event Planning

14 04 2011

EventPros just completed assisting with a political campaign lasting over two years, and we have new insight into planning events in the political arena.

One of the first things you must prepare for is the fact that most events virtually erupt around you. A phone call might come in for an event occuring less than a day out (a blink of an eye in the normal world of Event Planners). Fortunately, media professionals are used to this and can adapt to any situation they are given. The people behind the scenes at television stations are unsung heroes in our book – they adjust, scramble, and deal with a multitude of different last minute challenges every time they go out – and just like professional event planners they don’t stop to complain – they look for solutions and simply make it happen.

While we are used to planning decor, color schemes, plotting the best room set-up scenarios, and discussing for long periods of time the perfect ways to create the best event possible: political events must often be thrown together with the same degree of professionalism but almost no time to discuss details – much less plan.

Most importantly, when working with corporations, which are our primary clients, their staff’s believe (for the most part) in what their company stands for, and understand their company goals. The people we have worked with on this campaign are fanatically devoted to their cause 24/7.

There is a huge difference between having a strong interest in your company and what you do for a living, versus living to fulfill the dream of seeing your candidate win. These campaign folks, paid or volunteer, are steadfastly true to their cause – they are true believers. They work constantly, every breath is about the campaign – every spoken word directly or indirectly involves their candidate. Every day involves one goal and one goal only: win.

We have always known that corporate event planning; association event planning; wedding event planning; and festival/fair event planning are completely different animals. Now we know that campaign event planning is also a universe of its own. The complexities are astonishing, and reaction time is Olympic standard. It has been an incredible experience working with this amazing group of people – but for now, I think we will concentrate on the type of events that we are known well for achieving.

Respect Your Elders

7 04 2011

“Respect Your Elders”. This little tidbit of advice from adults is probably the biggest batch of crap that can be handed down from generation to generation. Surely Jeffrey Dahmer and Charles Manson’s parents offered this sage advice to their nieces and nephews. Respect is earned, not granted.

Kids forgive most everything, so earning respect should not be a difficult thing. However, being told what to do goes against every grain of my being. There are so many people I have known who have had no right for respect ever – they are dishonest, disloyal, solicitous, obnoxious, inconsiderate, and mean. A few of these have been family members – luckily for me very few, but occasionally some sneak through.

Once a person has gained your respect, you should pay close attention to what they say and the examples they set. If your judgement is sound and well-reasoned, these “elders” can offer perspective, advice, and attitudes that are invaluable if you can just listen, listen, listen, and then assimilate.

Of course, all of these great encouragements are worthless if you have chosen to respect an aunt, uncle, cousin, or other relative who enjoys disembowling living creatures, various forms of torture, pedophilia, or can’t believe that none of the “Saw” movies were ever nominated for an Academy Award. Again, this is why the phrase “Respect Your Elders” should not be followed without close examination. Even when you are young, you should trust your judgement sometimes.

We all eventually make our decisions who to respect, disrespect, hang around with, and run away from. This direction cannot come from anybody else telling you to “Respect” someone just because they are older – age does not inherently bring wisdom. Let them earn it – and remember, you need to earn others’ respect also. For instance, one way not to set an example is to hide under the stairwell during a family holiday get-together drinking Thunderbird from a paper bag and occasionally yelling “my thong is riding up again!” On the other hand, this behavior is likely to garner the respect of at least one off-kilter person in the family – this kind of stuff is what makes generational anthropology so much damn fun!

Cancer? Me?

2 04 2011

CANCER. Yeah, I intended to caps-lock that bitch.

For me it was “well, ok, I have it – what next?”

For me it was “well, ok – let’s get rid of it”.

For me it was “well, ok – that’s over, what’s next?

Obviously there is a lot more intellectual and emotional stuff that happened between all that, but (again, for me), that is a pretty concise summary of how I handled it.

Mine happened to be Prostate Cancer, which if there was a shopping list of cancers to choose from, this one would be popular. Not much pain – a few weeks off work – and recovery rates are extremely high.

And then for me it was “well, ok, it’s over – what next?

Guess what – for me (again, it’s always about me) – work started to matter less. Things that used to be important; like being in the office by 7:30 AM and not caring how late I stayed, stopped being important.

What became important was time. Slowing down – being with friends and family – being with myself and allowing myself to relax, refresh, and just be around. Basically everything I totally sucked at doing before the cancer incident. So maybe it was a little wake up call – although I am still not very good at relaxing – I am trying harder (trying hard to relax is a huge contradiction).

Event Planning and Production is what I do. Work itself started to matter less, but learning to get better at what I do began to matter more. It now takes me longer to accomplish what I need to accomplish, but I am now slowing down and becoming more thorough. I think I might actually be developing into a better Events person as a result.

I am constantly reminded that you are not allowed to say you are cancer-free for five years after it has been diagnosed as gone. Big deal – lot’s of things could kill me in the next five years. It is no longer something for me to worry about, including cancer.

I feel extremely fortunate to have only dealt with a minor disease – I don’t think I would feel the same if I had to add chemotherapy and/or radiation to the mix. My heart goes out to those with cancers that are truly serious – mostly I have learned to be much more introspective, and I have learned that catheters blow. Many of these other unfortunates must learn how to die, and frequently very unpleasantly.

So for me (yeah I know, it’s all about me again) bye bye to cancer – time to un-caps-lock that bitch!