This just in from the EU Reporter:
Wed, 12 Jan 2011
Each year fisheries ministers from across Europe agree how much our fishermen can catch. The system means that they are forced to throw healthy fish back into the sea dead if it is above and beyond their quota allowance.”
Once again, Europe has scooped the rest of the world by learning how to make dead things healthy. We have long wondered why the French can smoke all day long and yet have better longevity than we. Italy is constantly touting the health benefits of drinking wine day in and day out – they too live longer than Americans. God only knows why the British outlive us.
As the most powerful nation in the world, the United States of America should lead the world in releasing dead fish to the wild. If these fish are perfectly healthy, they should be allowed to be dead – just like anything else.
We put the first man on the moon. We have purple mountains majesty. We use two slices of fried chicken as a bread substitute for a bacon and cheese sandwich. We lead most of the world in every category but one: our fish are not considered healthy if they are deceased.
This cannot be tolerated. We now lag behind China in production. We are far behind the Japanese in electronics. And now Europe has us by the short fins in the healthy dead fish arena. Let our fisheries unite to combat this menace. Our fish must somehow be certified by the government as both perfectly healthy and completely dead before we throw them back. Not only will this allow us to stand proudly amidst our international brethren, but will afford us an opportunity to create yet another government agency. Any American will tell you that you can never have too many government agencies, or too many other healthy dead things.
Everything's Eventful 